Valentine's Day

Tuesday was Valentine's Day.  Upon waking that morning, I was bummed that I didn't have a special Valentine this year.  That's okay.  Katie did text me to ask if I would be her Valentine since she didn't have one, and I said of course!  While I was out doing some errands, I stopped at Trader Joe's and bought myself flowers.  I wasn't feeling sorry for myself, however, I wanted some flowers that day!

Lo and behold, when I got home that afternoon, Melanie dropped off some lovely red tulips.  Then Beth came and delivered a hydrangea plant.  When Sarah came home from work, she brought me three bouquets!  (I think she couldn't decide which flowers to buy.)  Love filled my heart that day, by friends and family who love me.  I love flowers!  They can brighten any day!

Since Sarah had three bouquets and I had bought some flowers for myself, we made up two large arrangements!

Loving Friends In the Garden

Recently, there have been times when I feel all alone.  With the way life is for me right now, some days I can just feel downright blue.  At the end of January, I had very loving friends treat me to a garden makeover.  These friends had actually been in touch with my children, planning this makeover.  I could sense there was a secret going on, but could not figure out what the secret was!  Little did I know that the surprise was for me.

These friends have wanted to do something for me to lift my spirits.  Well, they really did!  On a Saturday morning, these women with their husbands came and did a re-do around my pond area just outside my front door.  Old plants were removed, new plants took their place, extra plants and flowers joined them, and the pond was cleaned out.  I had been sick with the flu that week, feeling doubly blue, and what a nice surprise this was!  It is beautiful!  Take a look~

Thank you my friends!  You know who you are!  

 Planted some new flowers.  Elizabeth and Dave planted, in October, the front around the edges with bulbs.  So this area was untouched.  We are waiting for the bulbs to come up and show their colors!

 This is so nice to see when walking up to my front door

 I love the little trail leading to the pond.  I never thought of doing that!

So many extra pink flowers gracing the pond area.  At the end of the trail, you will find some adorable toadstools!

I love you guys!

Evelyn and Hunter

When Elizabeth and Evelyn were here for the funeral, Evelyn got along with Hunter very well!  Wish I had a photo of Hunter "nosing" her to get her to play, making Evelyn giggle!  The high chair I have just about swallowed the poor girl up.  This girls loves her food!  And she sometimes shared with Hunter.

 Hunter was waiting for Evelyn to drop some food, which happened now and then

 She loves her food!

 Hunter is still waiting. . . . .

In the end, Hunter got the remains of Evelyn's dinner.  Don't worry, the tray got a very thorough wash with hot water and soap!

Day of Dad's Funeral-January 13, 2012

I was going through the cd of photo's Elizabeth took at the funeral.  She has a great camera and she is good at capturing the moment.  I realized it was time to change a photo on my blog, and found the one taken of our family that day.  I am really proud of my children!  I am so grateful that they were all able to be here for this special day.  Who knows when all will be together again?  Only time will allow for that moment.  

The photo's below are some of my favorites of that day.  There are quite a few!

This may end up being our Christmas card at the end of the year!

 Casket spray

 Pallbearers: Matthew, Jonathan, Evan Kohler, Henry Hargrove, Eric Nerdin, Kyle Kohler

 Matthew and Jonathan

 Martha and Katie

 Katie and Sarah

 Martha, Evelyn, Elizabeth and Sarah

 These two sweet ladies used to work with mom at Bank of America in the 1960's-70's.  Betty Lasenko and Mary Marlow.

 Evelyn was a great, bright spot to our day!

 Grandma and Evelyn

 Martha, Matthew and Evelyn.  This baby is so adorable and got passed around a lot!

 Matthew and Evelyn

 Bishop Cole, my current bishop, and Evelyn.  Elizabeth with her amazing camera!

 Sarah made a cake for the lunch.  Dad loved golf!

 I think Matthew had Evelyn most of the time!

 Sweet Katie

 Jonathan getting help from his sisters

 Grandma and Evelyn.  I know she kept me grounded that day

 Evelyn made this grandma smile

 Katie, Kari, Allison, Martha, Evelyn and Sarah

 Evan, Arnold, Hank, and Jonathan

 Cara, Christina, and Linda

 Winnie

 Dana and Terilyn Karren--very supportive and loving friends

 Uncle Arnold and Mike Sincich (Martinez Ward Bishop)

 Evelyn tasting a flower

 Feeling at peace, I was happy that day

 Katie with my camera

 Katie

 The Hult family: 

front--Renee, Dallin, Kari, Linda 

back--Allison, Eric, Arnold

  The three Jenette's:  Kari Jenette Hult, Allison Jenette Nerdin, 

and Jenette Louise Harrieth-Wheelwright

 Linda's family:

front--Joshua, Cara

back--Linda, Christina, Evan, Betsy, Shannon, Hank, Savvanah, Kyle

 Sisters:  Jenette and Linda

 Charles and Paula Cook, Winnie Westerberg, Lauren and Joanne Branshaw

 Evelyn back with Matthew again!

 Evelyn loved the flowers that day

Except this time, she appears to be making a sour face at this flower.  I think she may have tried to taste it!

January 4, 2012 - A Day of Peace

On the day that dad passed away, I had driven up to Walnut Creek to the John Muir hospital that dad had been staying in for 15 days.  It was in the morning, arriving there about 10:00am.  Getting to dad's room, Linda, Shannon and Hank were already there.  We spent a good hour talking to dad with some response.  Today he was also moving his right foot to respond.  The room was peaceful with nice music on.  The door was closed, Dad had been given a bath that morning and a change of fresh sheets.  It was a surreal time, for sure.  I feel it necessary to write my feelings of that day, as so I may refer to later and remember those feelings again.  It was a day that I could feel the Savior's love for our family.


A little after 11:00am, the nurse (Christine) and respiratory specialist came into dad's room.  It was time to remove the respirator from dad to see how he would do.  He had the respirator for 6 days.  At that point, they don't like to leave it in due to possible infection, etc.  I watched, and saw how difficult it was for dad to have it removed.  He had come to rely on the machine for a couple of days with none of his own breathing.  When removed, he gasped for a bit to get air.  Shannon got a washcloth and warm water to wash his face.  He liked that.  She also got a little sponge with water to moisten his mouth.  His mouth had become so dry with the tube.  It had been in for so long that his mouth was a bit misshapen and we rubbed there to get some circulation going.


In this quiet and peaceful room, we talked amongst ourselves, bringing up many memories with dad/grandpa.  There was a sweet feeling in the room and could almost feel the room getting full of people.  I have no doubt that there were many spirits gathering for his welcome to the other side.  There was a warm feeling in the room.  I'm sure they were comforting to dad as he left this earth behind and entered into their presence.  I have a picture in my mind of family and friends greeting him and helping him feel comfortable in his new surroundings.  There are times when I wonder what those surroundings are like.  However, I will be patient and wait for a much later time to find out.


As the time went by, dad hung on and surprised us.  We watched the monitors as his stats went down, and down.  About noon, Shannon and Hank went to have some lunch in the cafeteria.  When they came back to dad's room, Shannon said she felt it was time for her to go, and say goodbye to grandpa.  Shannon and Hank left a little after 2:00pm.  It wasn't ten minutes and dad was gone.  We were worried that we let Shannon go too soon.  However, the nurse said that in her experience, there are many times when after certain people leave the room, the patient passes quickly.  Linda and I wonder if this was the case.  Either dad didn't want Shannon to see him pass, or dad just wanted Linda and I to be in the room.  Whichever it is, I had an amazing experience when he did pass.


We were listening and watching dad take his last breathes, and they got fewer each minute to minute.  He was taking about 3-4 breathes a minute.  I had learned about the "death rattle" that those that are dying make, some time ago.  I could recognize that this is what was happening with dad.   I made sure to tell him during this last bit of time, how much I loved him, and I knew he loved me too.  I expressed my testimony again and told dad I would see him on the other side sometime, but to go and find mom.


As dad took his last breath, I could literally feel his spirit leave his body.  The instant he passed, there was a quick change in his body, and became just the shell his spirit was living in.  It was a shell that served him well in life.  The color immediately left his face and appeared almost a grayish-white.  Dad had fairly good health until the last few years.  I was grateful that dad was able to stay in his own home, until his last days.  He still drove, and was very independent.


I will never forget the peace I felt at my dad's passing.  The day turned out to be one of the most spiritual days I have had.  I think that is why I say it was a privilege to be there.  I will really miss dad.  I missed calling him for his birthday yesterday.  I will miss having him call me on my birthday, or Mother's Day, or any time without a reason.  Dad was a very gentle and kind man.  Where ever he went, he made people smile.  He was very generous with his friendship, and had many friends.


I will miss you dad.


Love,
Jenette

Happy Birthday Dad

So much has happened since I last posted on my blog.  Frankly, I had forgotten about my blog as there has been too many other things to do or worry about.  In a recent post, there was a photo of my dad and Evelyn in the hospital.  It was fifteen days later that my dad passed away, on January 4, 2012.  It was a privilege to be with my dad at his passing.  To be there the moment his Spirit left his body and passed on to the other side of the veil.  The experience was very real and I could feel him leave his body behind.


Yesterday, February 6th would have been dad's 88th birthday!  He almost made it; just shy of a couple of weeks.  His stay in the hospital was a long and uncomfortable one.  On Dec. 19th, my sister was called to go check on dad when he wasn't answering the phone and when she got to his home, she found him laying in the middle of the hallway by the front door.  After the fact, the doctors feel that he had a heart arrhythmia that caused him short of oxygen and therefore, fell.  Dad had an episode in August that was determined an arrhythmia.


When dad fell, he hit his head and caused a small bleed at the base of his neck.  Initially, dad was checked into the neuro-step-down ICU.  It is here that were were able to get Evelyn in for dad to see her.  This was the first and only time he meet Evelyn, so I quickly took a photo.
The next couple of days, we thought things were looking up when dad crashed, another episode of arrhythmia, and they were able to revive him.


Dad was then admitted to the neuro-ICU.  The doctors were still concerned about the brain bleed, so he went to neuro instead of cardio.  Here is where dad stayed for about 5 days.  Dad was having difficulty breathing so they put him on an oxygen mask with high flow pressure that was strapped around his head.  Dad was so frustrated with the mask.  Since it was pushing the oxygen in to him, it was difficult for him to speak.  He tried to tell us things, but we could not always understand.  I could tell that dad was getting tired of the whole hospital stay.  He wanted to go home so badly.  His  position in bed was changed every 2 hours, and when on his side, he was afraid he was falling.  There was no actual awareness of his position, and got frustrated, again, by his having to lay in bed.


While in the neruo-ICU, I saw signs that he was probably getting pneumonia, as I remembered when my grandmother was in her last days in the hospital, with similar symptoms.  I understood that pneumonia was often a possibility when a patient got to the point dad was at.  I asked about it, but was told no, he didn't have it.  However, with the suction of "stuff" they were doing, I did not believe them.  After a few days, dad did gain the ability to not need the oxygen, and was feeling a bit positive.  Dad was then moved back to the neruo-step down ICU.  We were positive about this move.


During my visit on that Wed. evening, we were able to do quite a bit of talking.  I got dad to smile and a few small laughs.  It was such a good visit and I was hesitant to leave him.  They let me stay another half hour past the visiting hours, for which I was grateful.  During this time, dad and I talked about family, and how proud he was of his grandchildren and great-grandchildren.  I loved sitting there at his bedside, holding his hand, and intently talking about how much I loved him and I was going to be okay.  Dad was worried about the fact that Scott had moved out and was concerned that I will be taken care of in the proper way.  I said I had great support of family and friends and he should not worry about me.  That's the way dad was, always looking out for someone else, before looking out for him.


I appreciate that visit, and will forever remember that night, for it was the last time that I was able to talk to dad.  As I left his room that night, I turned and said, "I love you dad!", then I could hear him loud and clear say, "I love you too dear!"  It was two days later that he was put on a respirator and moved to the cardio-ICU.  I was scared, but also at peace, knowing that he would probably not make it out of the hospital now.  I was afraid to think about having dad pass, however, I was at peace as to where he was going.  The next few days, I visited every day and just wanted to be there with him.  Dad was a bit sedated because of the respirator, and we weren't getting any kind of response from him.


On that next Monday, Jan. 2, Shannon, my niece, and I, were visiting at the same time.  When Shannon and I started to talk about some of the things that dad had said during his time in the hospital, we mentioned how dad said at time that there were other people in the room.  At one time, he could see his sister Josie in another room and wanted to get to her.  He told Shannon once that there were three women standing in his room with vales over their faces.  As we spoke of this, there was a sudden and positive response from dad.  He could hear us, and it surprised us that he responded so.  As we talked about things that we knew dad was worried about, he continued to respond as though he was trying to tell us something.  Dad could not open his eyes to look at us, but made movements with his eyebrows in ways that were an answer to us.  He started to try and move his arms, but did not have the strength.  Dad was still responding the next day as well.


On that next day, which was Tuesday, I was with dad alone in his room.  As I spoke to him, I could see his expressions in his eyebrow responses.  Still unable to open his eyes, I spoke again about how much I love him, that I could see he was probably experiencing his last bit of life here on earth.  I talked about my testimony of the gospel, and tried to encourage him that there was nothing to be afraid of in passing.  Knowing that he had concerns, I assured him that Linda and I would take care of each other, that Linda and I would take care of his sister Winnie, and I told him that I would be okay to go through this separation with Scott and not to worry.  As I spoke of mine and Scott's situation, tears were forming in the corners of his eyes and ran down his cheek.  His forehead squished together and wrinkled into an unhappy look.  I told dad not to cry, and his forehead relaxed.  I wiped his tears and gave him a kiss on the cheek.


I would like to post about the actual day that dad passed, but will do so on another post.  This has been very therapeutic to write this down.  It reassures me that what I know about the gospel and plan of salvation are true.  I know that Heavenly Father knows each and every one of us and loves us so much.


Happy birthday dad!